Virtue & Mrs. Amelia Underwood
(Lyrics: Moorcock, with A. Bouchard;
Music: Bouchard, with Falcone, Moorcock, Wishart)

Albert Bouchard: Virtue Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals; Mrs. Piano & Vocals
Don Falcone: Virtue Rhythm Piano, String Ensembles, Celeste, & Organ
Michael Moorcock: Backing Vocals
Bridget Wishart: Mrs. A. U. EWI (Violin & Bassoon)

Almost everyone was happy
The giant fascinated by Yusharisp
The alien thought he could go free
Mrs. Underwood and Jherek
could have their tryst
 
While she slept, he prepared her room
Dressed himself completely in white
Created colorful clothes for her
And selected music of Charles Ives

In the morning, he politely stomped
upon her door
But she told him she’d be happy
if he went away
When he asked how she liked her breakfast 
Her tone was mocking and a little strained
 
“I’ve never been overfond of raw meat, sir
And whisky isn’t my favorite breakfast drink”
He said, “Perhaps the customs of your
world are different
Anything you want, I just touch my red ring”
 
And now Mrs. Underwood may I come in?”
She said, “You’re the jailer here,
do as you please
Though you have abducted me
and you have my body
I guarantee you shall not have my soul”
 
Virtue, Virtue, Virtue

He barely heard her as he drank in
her beauty
He offered her chocolate and
beautiful garments
She kicked them away and said,
“These are not suitable
For a well-bred lady, you must be
thoughtless”

At this point, he declared his love for her
She began to realize the misunderstanding
She was just a common housewife
And not another kind of woman
 
He was getting frustrated with her
misreading him
Determined to try again he said,
“I want to make love to you
Does that mean nothing?”
 
“There is such a thing as
Christian marriage Mr. Carnelian,
Such love you speak of
is sanctioned by society
Only if the two people involved
are married
If you want to learn,
I shall not stand in your way”
 
Virtue, Virtue, Virtue
 
“I have lived in India and visited Africa
There are few places in the Empire
I haven’t seen
My father was a missionary
teaching Christian virtues
Therefore…”
 
“Virtue, virtue, that is it
Will you teach me virtue
Mrs. Underwood?”
“Virtue, virtue”
She sighed, “How can a
good Christian refuse?”
 
Virtue...
(Virtue, that is it!)

Mrs. Amelia Underwood…